The Positive Pearls In An Ocean Of Criticism (Part 1)

“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing”. – Aristotle

Because I was extremely afraid of being judged, I took everything, from everyone, as condemnation.

I realise criticism doesn’t always come gently, from someone legitimately trying to help. A lot of the feedback we receive is unsolicited. Maybe there’s a lesson in every criticism, if only we were willing to find it.

We cannot control what others have to say of us, good or bad, either way they have the freedom to speak their minds. But we surely can control how we accept it, internalise it, respond to it, and learn from it, right?

After listening to so much of blabbering with clear signs of discord, I segregate criticism as good / constructive or bad / projected. If I feel that in the long run it is going to invest in making me a better person, then I don’t hold back to take it into consideration. But if my brain hints me to something unfruitful which is only going to depreciate my morale and my building endeavouring spirit, I get it off like a wrong and accidental call (plus avoid answering to it).

But how do we differentiate between constructive and projected criticism?

“What could I have done better?” – constructive criticism answers this question. Constructive criticism comes along to help us, educate us, helps us forge ideas and improves our performance. Moreover, it is thought of and calculated. Projected criticism is more likely to be a personal attack, it tends to embarrass us, dissolves and tears up our ideas, makes us feel terrible and worse by rapid – fire and random responses.

I question myself, “what are the possible reasons that compelled them to say this to me?” This question gives rise to a clamour in my mind. I try to analyse and conclude facts from other’s perspectives because we humans tend to judge ourselves by our intentions (while others judge us by our actions).

“It is much more valuable to look and learn from other’s strengths. There is nothing I can gain by criticising their imperfections” is the thought that pops up in my mind which prevents me from initiating a bitter dissension or calling them to heel in my favour.

It’s important to have a feedback loop so that we know how well we have performed and how we can do it better. Thus it’s important to classify criticism as constructive or projected so as to take the necessary required actions.

So what now, once we have identified criticism as constructive or projected?


59 thoughts on “The Positive Pearls In An Ocean Of Criticism (Part 1)

  1. What an important topic. It helps to see you analyze it because otherwise we can fall prey to our emotions. I was just thinking about how to handle this very issue. We’re in this together. 🙌🏻 Thank you!

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you for your appreciation.
      Criticism will come anyway no matter what good you do, people always have something negative to say. After all, the tallest trees are the ones confronted by the strongest winds, right?
      A negative mind will never allow you to have a positive life, so consider things which you know you should and ignore the rest.
      Have a great day!

      Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for your input and appreciation.
      Your words are so relatable. Introverts tend to encourage people than offering criticism. We choose to make of what’s said.
      True humility is accepting criticism as graciously as we accept compliments and that’s what introverts do.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Great post! Such an important topic. You just made me realize – as a person, It’s definitely easier for me to accept criticism more graciously from a stranger than someone dear to me. I wonder why that is … (psychological thinking cap goes on) ☺️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for considering my post. I’m happy knowing that it helped you realise an important aspect of life.

      I am not a psychology student, but according to me we feel that a stranger doesn’t knows the effort and dedication we have put behind the work so we don’t consider their gift of criticism seriously and think that they aren’t eligible or have the right to criticise us. Thus we end up accepting it cause it doesn’t seem to bother us much nor are we serious enough to implement on their words.
      But on the other hand, if a known person or someone close to us criticises us which is unanticipated, we tend to get shocked because first of all, we don’t expect them to say something not in our favour for we know them very well and secondly they are the ones who know the path of struggle we have travelled to get the specific task done. Knowing that it is not going to be jolly to hurt us, they don’t hold back to criticise us which only makes it worse for us to accept the fact that we still have a lot to improve.

      I will surely get back to you with a more scientific answer to your question. Thank you for asking that, I’m curious to know too!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re very welcome. Honestly that was very well said. It makes absolute sense that we would be able to quickly brush off an acquaintance or strangers criticism as opposed to someone who has seen us struggle. You said something that will stick with me for a long time. We judge ourselves on our intentions. Others judge us by our actions.

        Liked by 3 people

  3. The universe can only speak to each of us from another one of us. Human to human. It doesn’t come out of the clouds as a ghost. It’s always in a human, in a you, speaking to you.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I can relate to you a lot….. Just with the line ‘ introvert speaks’ my inner voice told me that there is some one like me…. The way you express is heartfelt and fruit full….

    I personally love your post about love….. I hope i find that kind of love some day….. Eternal and never ending.

    Keep smiling and write a lot ….. 💕

    ~ Ramya

    Liked by 2 people

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