I want to write my heart out today. I have always tried to hold up a brave face, but I too am only human, though considered only with trivial feelings.
I want to dedicate this to one of my dear friends who uninformed, departed from my life, leaving me stranded in the midst of nowhere. (I’m referring to that person as ‘you’ since I don’t want to reveal his/her identity in any way). When I first met you, I knew in a moment that I had to spend the next few days rearranging my mind so that there’d be room for you to stay. Never realizing how time flew (for the memorable moments that I now look back upon with a sigh), I was left shattered into pieces when you vanished. Either I didn’t deserve you or you couldn’t accept me for who I was. Either my everything was overpowered by yours or simply unacceptable by your standards.
I just realised how easily with harsh words you had put scars in my heart. Without even saying sorry, again I was comforting myself for something better. Always nervous if you were going to leave me, I just wanted you to stay, but you parted ways, selfishly. Your expressionless face got more and more dull while I whispered to the mirror, “let’s slowly let this go.” I guess I took you for granted. Still with my endless hope and boundless faith, I wanted you to stay. When I hummed songs, the sad melody resembled you which never failed to make me cry. When I smelled flowers, I could only sense your scent, a sweet felony. Before the dark night could trap me in, I wanted you to rescue me, but you were nowhere to be seen. I could see myself relating to the quote “Memories stay, people don’t.”
Only if you could reciprocate my feelings, would you have stayed. Don’t ask me why it has to be you, because I can’t put my answer into words. Maybe I just expected a lot from you, but there was nothing else I wanted. Rather than forceful conversations with others I would have rather preferred to be in awkward silence with you. In this world of lies, the only truth was you. Maybe you just came to go. I don’t want to repeat my innocence, I would rather have the pleasure of losing you again.
But after everything, on the positive note, I realized that you made me appreciate human worth and cherish every moment of my life. I started living my life like never before, all credits to you. I know not how you are or where you are, but in my heart, I wish you well a hundred times a day. Whatever you do, do well and success will surely attend your efforts. I hope you know you’re loved and cared for. I looked up to you, and that’s the beginning and end of everything.
A short note to the readers: If you decide to stay, stay forever. If you decide to leave, leave today. If you decide to change, change for better. If you decide to speak, mean every word you say. Respect people who tell you the truth, no matter how hard it strikes you. I am glad that I finally vented out my feelings and got it off my chest cause you can’t have a better tomorrow if you’re still thinking about yesterday, right? No man is an island, thereby desires people who have their back, be the light during their happiness and shield when criticized. “Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect and mirror what you admire” is what I’ve been trying to inculcate and indulge myself into these days and I hope you readers will do too.
(I know that the content is disoriented. I wanted to just go with the flow and publish it raw and unedited.)